Desperate & Dating

Times have changed. Technology has evolved, but people's social interactions have de-volved. The traditional values and etiquette of yester-year have almost completely disappeared. The concept of going on a date sounds foreign to most ears because so few people have an old-fashioned romance anymore. Dating is even harder when you throw in the reality of being gay in a straight world.

Most gay men are seeking sex with each flirtation, if both players are men, then what's stopping them? In a world where sex before a relationship is the norm, how are the few who want a relationship supposed to date? If every player goes right for the goal, how are we supposed to enjoy the game?

In my experience as a young gay man, most guys my age only want sex. While I can understand being in your prime and wanting to hump every cute guy that catches your purple eye, I wonder why more of them don't want something deeper? I'm not prude by any sense, but if I had a choice between sex with the same amazing man every time, or someone always different, I would go with my man!

Unfortunately, I don't have a man. However, I'm always on a quest to find an amazing man to fulfill my desires. So far without any luck. I have gone on several first dates, and a handful of second dates. Even though gay guys don't seem to date much, they will give it a try with the hope of getting lucky that night. They think that if they indulge the romantic in me, that I will satisfy the horn-dog in them. Fair warning to you if this sounds like your resume, but I can spot these guys very quickly, even through a message online. Which is precisely why I have gone on so many dates; if I begin to suspect you are grabbing for more than the bill, then no second date for you.

The uncountable amounts of dates have taken a toll on my psyche. After a while I began to lower my standards, they weren't that high to begin with, but there were a couple things I was willing to throw out. Now my standards are right where they should be–at a normal healthy level. While the people in my life tell me I shouldn't settle because I'm a great catch, I can't help and wonder if my looming desperation is causing me to overlook a few flaws? Some, maybe, that shouldn't be swept under the rug.

So in my journey to find "my guy", the desperation to be with someone makes me wonder if I'm playing make-believe. Is he really out there? Or should I focus on the guy in front of me who seems "good enough"? If there's no spark, should I try to make this work? Is desperation stronger than chemistry?

Hopefully I will find out soon,
Until next time...

~city boi

WiFi? Where?

Hey all you PSU Vikings, City Boi here with a quick trick you might like to know. I love Starbucks as much as the next sleep deprived student, but when I want to sit at a cafe and work on my computer I have to go somewhere I can get WiFi, and unfortunately Starbucks is exclusive to At&t web access. So if you are one of the many people, who like myself, love Starbucks but need to use the Internet (and don't have At&t), try going to the Starbucks on campus located on 6th & Jackson at the bottom of the Broadway building. The PSU General Access WiFi signal is at full strength even sitting inside Starbucks. Now you can sip your grande mocha frappuccino and research that paper all in one place.

Who knows, maybe I'll see you there...(except you won't see me ;-)

xoxo,
~cb

It's All Great to Me!

Life in the City of Roses revolves around food. When people ask "what is there to do around here?" the common response is "eat & drink". Plans out are organized based on where you are going to eat your next meal. In Portland it's possible to eat out and always visit a new establishment. There are restaurants, cafes, pubs, clubs, and bars everywhere, and there are new businesses opening up all the time. In my recent search for something new I was on a quest to try some Greek food. After performing a thorough search online, and even asking a few friends about their own personal experiences, we decided on Alexis. Just to the west on 2nd and Burnside, Alexis is somewhat hidden. If you weren't looking for it, you would probably miss it.

We were seated in the dinning room that is shared with the bar, and the only negative thing I have to say about the establishment is their need to improve on ambiance. The biggest draw back about the dinning room is that there are no windows. And without windows or carefully placed mirrors the room looks uncomfortable. The lights are harsh and reminiscent of florescent bulbs. The music sounds like you are actually near the region, but it might be too quiet to really make up for the other factors. While it would be great to come to any Greek restaurant and hear people shouting "ooopah!", the smashing of plates, dancing, and the merriment of a good time; Alexis is a bit subdued.

Having said all the negative first, here's the positive; the food is amazing! I had the hardest time making up my mind because there were so many options that sounded wonderful. I can be skeptical when trying a new place, my nature is to stick to ingredients I know I like and hope they haven't somehow screwed them up. This time however, the majority of the menu had something I liked. So when crunch time came, and our server was taking down our order, I guessed. I picked the Kota Psiti, char-broiled chicken breast with potatoes and vegetables, all latent with Mediterranean spices that enrich the palate. I cleaned the plate, I ate every last bite, order a serving of baklava, and was delighted the whole time. I even had some ouzo to wash it all down. For an amazing meal the bill didn't hurt too bad either, I definitely see myself going back for more. Next time I would even like to try the family style dinner to get a broader range of the food they have to offer.

Some day soon I will get to taste the authentic food of the country, and once I do I will be able to more accurately judge our local Greek options. Until then I plan on trying other local establishments to compare Alexis to; who knows, maybe next time I'll get to say "OOOPAH!"

lol, u know u love it,
xoxo
~ city boi

Pub Grub

Although the weather was gloomy as usual here in the City of Roses, this Easter weekend has still been an enjoyable one. While I've consumed a number of drinks over the last few days, the most memorable were the ones I had with friends at a nice British style pub called Horse Brass in SE by 47th and Belmont. While it has the appeal of a dive bar, it's much larger and operates more like a restaurant that offers a lot of beer. The menu ranges from traditional British pub food to familiar American grub like fish & chips. I had the pleasure of trying the Fishwich with cheese and chips and was blown away by the flavor of the beer battered fillet. It's a very large fish sandwich but I ate every bite and savored each moment. Driving by I had never noticed that the Horse Brass existed, but now that I know what's there I will definitely be going back.

Until next time...

u know u love it,
xoxo
~ city boi

Tongue-Tied (and not in a good way)

When you like someone, how do you know? Do you get excited when you think about them? Or are you extra nice to them? When we're young, the trend is to be mean. Kids often tease and taunt the ones they have a crush on. So how do those flirting rituals transform as we get older?

I for one have discovered my own pattern of behavior when I become interested in someone. I noticed that I do the same thing as when I don't like someone; I avoid them. Counter-intuitive, I know, but my initial reaction is to duck and hide and avoid being seen at all costs. My excitement takes over, I suddenly have no idea how to hold up my end of a conversation, and I'm terribly afraid of making a fool of myself. But sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just go for it, jump in, and hope for the best.

Today the guy I've had my eye on for a while caught me, and before I could even think of what to say, he was already asking if he could stop by sometime. Of course I said yes! And luckily he was headed somewhere, so I didn't have to think of something clever to say. The initial setup is always hardest for me, I'm great on dates, and excellent when you get to know me, but talking to someone new has always been a challenge. So for all those people who struggle with flirting, this one's for you. I'm going to pursue this new opportunity and see what happens.

But a new question arises, what do I say when we're having a real one-on-one conversation? Like kids on the playground, are we just supposed to make it up as we go?

Hello Heartache :-(

Bye bye sunshine, we had our fun. Now it's back to the doom & gloom of rainy Portland. But before we get back into our normal routine of weather that changes every 5 minutes, how about a recap of the fun in the sun from this last weekend.

The weekend started off with a lovely little brunch at Java Vivace up in NW. They specialize in various caffeinated beverages and crepes, and the Morning Bagels are to die for. The cafe resides in an old Victorian home along with other small businesses, but Vivace is the main presence. The Charming decor provides great ambiance whilst you sip your white mocha, read the paper, and return to a time where there is actually time to enjoy it! With patrons of all walks of life, Vivace is a perfect fit for the NW. The only draw back: it was so good I ended up there twice in one weekend and spent more than I should have. But thanks Vivace, it was de-lish.

Yes, the nice weather lifted spirits here in P-town, and the evidence was everywhere. People we biking more, walking just for fun, and lounging around where ever there was a spot. The Tom McCall Waterfront Park was bursting with life, and if you've never tried it, I highly suggest bringing a blanket and relaxing by the river. Anywhere along the strip is a great place to people watch. There are tons or gorgeous men jogging along (some even without their shirts, wow!) to unfortunate looking people who should be wearing a bag over their head. Owners are also out walking their dogs who probably are as exercise ridden as their master, but love the sunshine just as much. This is the perfect opportunity for those of you who hate flirting with people in awkward situations (e.g., the bar, grocery store, etc.) but want to take the initiative to talk to someone. A dog is the perfect excuse, you have a reason to talk to them "what an adorable dog!", which then starts a conversation, leads to flirting, maybe the prospect of a date, then the exchange of phone numbers. And if the person doesn't seem interested you can bow out gracefully with dignity intact. For all you mo's out there, it's also the perfect opportunity to talk to a cute guy and figure out if he's gay before wasting the time & energy of flirting.

Their seems to be attractive men everywhere when the sun comes out. I haven't quite put my finger on it, but maybe it's because they like the outdoors...or they all drive cars and stay inside the gym when it's cloudy? No matter how you spin it, most people look better when the sun is shinning and it's warm enough to go without a coat. Another great place to people watch is the South Park Blocks on PSU campus. Just the other day I was reading on a bench, half-way ease dropping on other people's conversations (how could I not?), but my attention was distracted every so often when I would hear a random musical instrument. This time it was an electric xylophone, followed by a country string trio. Just days before at the farmer's market I also heard an electric cello, and further down the block was a young woman playing a golden harp. Each melody brings a different mood and sense of life to the area, much like the time in the fall when a man was playing the accordion for passersby. I felt like I was walking through a park in Paris! Oh how my love for Portland continues to grow, new discoveries are sometimes literally right around the corner. But the gift of music is perhaps the best surprise, even if you can't see it, or know where it's coming from, you can still hear it. So when in doubt, follow the music.

In Portland it's important to take the opportunity when nice weather comes along, study outside, take your laptop to a cafe, ride your bike to a friend's house, or just walk around town and explore a new neighborhood. Because once the weather shifts, it's back to gray skies for who knows how long. And unfortunately the gray returned quickly yesterday, snuffing out the last chance to wear flip-flops for a while. But if you were lucky, maybe you met someone new, and maybe you'll have them to keep you warm when the wind starts to blow again.

Until next time...

You know you love it,
xoxo
~ city boi

And so it begins...

Welcome all, City Boi here, and I've decided to bring you all the best info about Portland, OR.

I plan on sharing my experiences from great happy hour spots, people watching places, and juicy city gossip to the bad service and things to avoid throughout the city.

And as some of you astute people might be wondering by now (from the title and name) yes, I am gay. But to those of you who may not have caught on (straights), "pride" is often used as a shorter term for "gay pride". And while Portland does have it's gay pride, I'm using it in reference to the pride for my city.

Although I am a proud a gay man, my orientation doesn't define my identity. Sure it's a large part of who I am, especially when you live in a straight world, but my focus will be on the city as a whole. While I do love gay bars, hot men, and I'm sometimes a walking stereotype, I'm not one of those queens who has to slap a rainbow on everything. There's more to life ladies!

So I encourage everyone to subscribe and keep reading, you never know...it might just be you I'm talk'n about.

You know you love it...
xoxo
~ city boi