The Loneliest Time of Year

It’s been a while, but I’m back.

I took some time off for personal discovery, adventure, and soul finding. I found a lot of what I was looking for, but not everything. Over the summer I had hoped to find Prince Charming. I wanted someone special to spend my time with, someone to have romantic escapades with that most dream about. I didn’t find him, but I did make some great new friends that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Now I’m back in my beloved City of Roses, and after being gone, I’m even more in love with Portland.

The winter can be a dreaded time for most, but it still has some great moments. The holiday season is a wonderful time filled with kindness and magic. Downtown Portland is lined with trees wrapped in white lights, Pioneer Square is buzzing with holiday shoppers, and the mighty Christmas tree stands tall.

The real downside of winter in Portland is when you have to spend it alone. If you don’t have someone locked in before Thanksgiving you’re screwed. Dating is increasingly hard after the summer weather ends. With fewer options for a fun date, it takes longer to get to know someone. Once you get near Thanksgiving people are too busy with holiday preparations and plans that they don’t have time for a first or second date with someone they barely know. So unless you manage to fall into a relationship within a week, your chances of spending time with a special someone continue to dwindle as the date gets nearer to Christmas and New Years Eve.

Then you can look forward to spending Valentine’s Day alone, unless you take full advantage of January. This small window of opportunity is the best chance of snagging a date for February 14th.

There are some exceptions to the dating game. Some people have no problem finding a partner for the holidays, and others have no guilt about dumping their current lover around the holidays (sooooo wrong), but for the average person with a life and responsibilities, winter can be just as lonely and dry as a desert in the summer.

As I took a power nap on my lunch break today, I reclined in my car listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windshield. I kept hearing people’s voices saying how some day I will find the right person, and I wondered if that’s true then how long will I have to wait? If he’s out there, then where is he right now? If someday we’re together talking about our youth and how we wished we had met earlier instead of wasting so much time then how can we speed up the process?

If everything happens for a reason, then what’s the reason for me being single for so long? Not to sound conceited but everyone else says I’m a catch, and my standards aren’t that high. I’m excellent on dates, and I have motivation and goals for my life. I should have been snatched up a long time ago. In movies and on TV I’m the one people fight over. In real life however, it seems like no one wants to give me the time of day.

As the cold and bitterness seeps into my gloomy attitude this winter, I’ll try to stay warm at the thought that some day I will have him to hold. Until then I can only hope that one of the frogs I kiss along the way with be worth the effort.

A question for anyone who might be reading: How do you keep warm during the winter? If you have any great Portland winter date ideas, let me know @ portlandpridecityboi@gmail.com

You know you love it,
xoxo,
~ city boi

Desperate & Dating

Times have changed. Technology has evolved, but people's social interactions have de-volved. The traditional values and etiquette of yester-year have almost completely disappeared. The concept of going on a date sounds foreign to most ears because so few people have an old-fashioned romance anymore. Dating is even harder when you throw in the reality of being gay in a straight world.

Most gay men are seeking sex with each flirtation, if both players are men, then what's stopping them? In a world where sex before a relationship is the norm, how are the few who want a relationship supposed to date? If every player goes right for the goal, how are we supposed to enjoy the game?

In my experience as a young gay man, most guys my age only want sex. While I can understand being in your prime and wanting to hump every cute guy that catches your purple eye, I wonder why more of them don't want something deeper? I'm not prude by any sense, but if I had a choice between sex with the same amazing man every time, or someone always different, I would go with my man!

Unfortunately, I don't have a man. However, I'm always on a quest to find an amazing man to fulfill my desires. So far without any luck. I have gone on several first dates, and a handful of second dates. Even though gay guys don't seem to date much, they will give it a try with the hope of getting lucky that night. They think that if they indulge the romantic in me, that I will satisfy the horn-dog in them. Fair warning to you if this sounds like your resume, but I can spot these guys very quickly, even through a message online. Which is precisely why I have gone on so many dates; if I begin to suspect you are grabbing for more than the bill, then no second date for you.

The uncountable amounts of dates have taken a toll on my psyche. After a while I began to lower my standards, they weren't that high to begin with, but there were a couple things I was willing to throw out. Now my standards are right where they should be–at a normal healthy level. While the people in my life tell me I shouldn't settle because I'm a great catch, I can't help and wonder if my looming desperation is causing me to overlook a few flaws? Some, maybe, that shouldn't be swept under the rug.

So in my journey to find "my guy", the desperation to be with someone makes me wonder if I'm playing make-believe. Is he really out there? Or should I focus on the guy in front of me who seems "good enough"? If there's no spark, should I try to make this work? Is desperation stronger than chemistry?

Hopefully I will find out soon,
Until next time...

~city boi

WiFi? Where?

Hey all you PSU Vikings, City Boi here with a quick trick you might like to know. I love Starbucks as much as the next sleep deprived student, but when I want to sit at a cafe and work on my computer I have to go somewhere I can get WiFi, and unfortunately Starbucks is exclusive to At&t web access. So if you are one of the many people, who like myself, love Starbucks but need to use the Internet (and don't have At&t), try going to the Starbucks on campus located on 6th & Jackson at the bottom of the Broadway building. The PSU General Access WiFi signal is at full strength even sitting inside Starbucks. Now you can sip your grande mocha frappuccino and research that paper all in one place.

Who knows, maybe I'll see you there...(except you won't see me ;-)

xoxo,
~cb

It's All Great to Me!

Life in the City of Roses revolves around food. When people ask "what is there to do around here?" the common response is "eat & drink". Plans out are organized based on where you are going to eat your next meal. In Portland it's possible to eat out and always visit a new establishment. There are restaurants, cafes, pubs, clubs, and bars everywhere, and there are new businesses opening up all the time. In my recent search for something new I was on a quest to try some Greek food. After performing a thorough search online, and even asking a few friends about their own personal experiences, we decided on Alexis. Just to the west on 2nd and Burnside, Alexis is somewhat hidden. If you weren't looking for it, you would probably miss it.

We were seated in the dinning room that is shared with the bar, and the only negative thing I have to say about the establishment is their need to improve on ambiance. The biggest draw back about the dinning room is that there are no windows. And without windows or carefully placed mirrors the room looks uncomfortable. The lights are harsh and reminiscent of florescent bulbs. The music sounds like you are actually near the region, but it might be too quiet to really make up for the other factors. While it would be great to come to any Greek restaurant and hear people shouting "ooopah!", the smashing of plates, dancing, and the merriment of a good time; Alexis is a bit subdued.

Having said all the negative first, here's the positive; the food is amazing! I had the hardest time making up my mind because there were so many options that sounded wonderful. I can be skeptical when trying a new place, my nature is to stick to ingredients I know I like and hope they haven't somehow screwed them up. This time however, the majority of the menu had something I liked. So when crunch time came, and our server was taking down our order, I guessed. I picked the Kota Psiti, char-broiled chicken breast with potatoes and vegetables, all latent with Mediterranean spices that enrich the palate. I cleaned the plate, I ate every last bite, order a serving of baklava, and was delighted the whole time. I even had some ouzo to wash it all down. For an amazing meal the bill didn't hurt too bad either, I definitely see myself going back for more. Next time I would even like to try the family style dinner to get a broader range of the food they have to offer.

Some day soon I will get to taste the authentic food of the country, and once I do I will be able to more accurately judge our local Greek options. Until then I plan on trying other local establishments to compare Alexis to; who knows, maybe next time I'll get to say "OOOPAH!"

lol, u know u love it,
xoxo
~ city boi

Pub Grub

Although the weather was gloomy as usual here in the City of Roses, this Easter weekend has still been an enjoyable one. While I've consumed a number of drinks over the last few days, the most memorable were the ones I had with friends at a nice British style pub called Horse Brass in SE by 47th and Belmont. While it has the appeal of a dive bar, it's much larger and operates more like a restaurant that offers a lot of beer. The menu ranges from traditional British pub food to familiar American grub like fish & chips. I had the pleasure of trying the Fishwich with cheese and chips and was blown away by the flavor of the beer battered fillet. It's a very large fish sandwich but I ate every bite and savored each moment. Driving by I had never noticed that the Horse Brass existed, but now that I know what's there I will definitely be going back.

Until next time...

u know u love it,
xoxo
~ city boi

Tongue-Tied (and not in a good way)

When you like someone, how do you know? Do you get excited when you think about them? Or are you extra nice to them? When we're young, the trend is to be mean. Kids often tease and taunt the ones they have a crush on. So how do those flirting rituals transform as we get older?

I for one have discovered my own pattern of behavior when I become interested in someone. I noticed that I do the same thing as when I don't like someone; I avoid them. Counter-intuitive, I know, but my initial reaction is to duck and hide and avoid being seen at all costs. My excitement takes over, I suddenly have no idea how to hold up my end of a conversation, and I'm terribly afraid of making a fool of myself. But sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just go for it, jump in, and hope for the best.

Today the guy I've had my eye on for a while caught me, and before I could even think of what to say, he was already asking if he could stop by sometime. Of course I said yes! And luckily he was headed somewhere, so I didn't have to think of something clever to say. The initial setup is always hardest for me, I'm great on dates, and excellent when you get to know me, but talking to someone new has always been a challenge. So for all those people who struggle with flirting, this one's for you. I'm going to pursue this new opportunity and see what happens.

But a new question arises, what do I say when we're having a real one-on-one conversation? Like kids on the playground, are we just supposed to make it up as we go?